Bernie’s Day and Others

Bernie Stinhkmiller got his stagus caught in the act of trying to pry Mildred Mergamier’s loose tooth out of the birthday cake she had been baking for Barney popinmier today and in the excitement of the moment, the local emergency response crew all lost their false teeth when their firetruck smacked straight into Mortie Montorooses ass while negotiating a hairpin turn at Falum street.

It was both funny and tragic to watch and it was made worse when the squirrel decided to run up the leg of Millie Popensocker’s slacks in the middle of the shopping mall. From all the pandemonium that took place, you would have thought there was a mass shooter on the loose. Millie suffered no great trauma although there was about half a pound of loose vaginal hair blowing around the mall and she did receive a few rather deep squirrel bites in those sensitive areas.

It was exciting if nothing else.