My Middle Name

Somebody wants to know the significance of my middle name. I can’t imagine what that would be used as a writing prompt but I will do my best to answer it in my normal unique and hyper-eccentric manner. Are you ready for this? Here goes:

My middle name happens to be “Richard.” (That is “Richard” that starts with an “R”.) — what do you mean, “That is obvious?”

My middle name is just a little bit more significant to me than it would be to anyone else unless the anyone else I am talking about is somebody who is trying to forge my name to a check or something.

My middle name is very significant to me and is higher on my value scale than my middle finger which is reserved for helping to balance my hands when I grasp something (Or someone as the case may be) or when I am using it to flip somebody off with a “Bird.” (“Bird” in this case means showing the middle finger to someone in an obscene gesture that means “F-You!”

At this point in the dissertation, I am beginning to wonder why the question about my middle name would be included in writing prompts. It makes me wonder if writing prompts contain enough personal questions that over the course of a few hundred of them, somebody somewhere might be able to get a really clear and highly-detailed picture of who I am — for whatever purposes.

I am waiting to see if the writing prompts people are going to ask me … sooner or later …. “What is the size and length of your “Schlong.” (Look that up in a Yiddish book somewhere.)

Anyway, as a last bit of relevant information about the subject in the discussion here, let me reveal to you that my middle name is also the first name of my Uncle-In-Law who was a short, fat, square-jawed, arrogant little gnome who owned a successful safe manufacturing company many years ago in Hamilton, Ohio USA.

“Uncle Richard” lived in this glitzy mansion just a couple of blocks up the street from my Maternal Grand Mother and whenever he and his wife, “Aunt Ella,” wanted to visit with Grand Mother, he and she would get into their shiny limousine and have their chauffer drive them the two blocks to Grand Mother’s house just so the neighbors could see them.

Later in life, I picked up on some of “Uncle Richard’s” appreciation of such showmanship — but today I am a lot meeker and milder ….and if you don’t believe that, just ask me and I will tell you because I am an expert on the subject of “Me.”

So to all you invisible sons of B*****s who think you are being clever by prying into my life with your writing prompt scheme, I hope that what I have just written fills your bill …. the good part is that if you are really out there, doing that, you will never know whether I am lying or not … and I can be a really effective liar with it is deemed by myself as appropriate or useful be so.

LOL