Things I’ve Never Thunk Before

Free photos of Goldfish

I thought I could help my pet goldfish get into better physical shape by buying him a little bicycle but, for some odd reason, it never worked out.  I spent the money on the bike, but the poor little thing could never learn to ride it.  But he did begin to sing perfect operatic auras until the day he held a high “C” note too long and drowned himself.

Kind of reminds me of the time I was visiting a girl’s gym class outdoors.  It was a hot day in August and everyone was sweating profusely.

The coach handed one of the girls a brand new kind of sunscreen lotion to try.  She put the lotion all over her exposed skin hoping for some protection from the Sun’s intense rays. But in a few minutes, after the girl had applied the lotion, her skin began to turn dark red and to smoke.  The girl screamed as the skin where she had applied the lotion turned black and began to peel.  She screamed even louder when her skin burst into flame and within a very few minutes, she was nothing but a pile of smoking ashes.

Do I need to tell you that nobody else in that gym class tried the new lotion for themselves?

I went to a special showing of paintings at a local gallery one Wednesday afternoon.

One of the paintings on display in the gallery was of several monkeys, all of them waving long bamboo sticks in the air.

The title of the picture was, “Radical Republicans Waving Sticks In The Air Because That Is All They Know How To Do.”

One day, not too long ago, I tried an experiment.  I coated my entire body with vegetable oil,  It was so slick that I could barely stand on my feet or hang onto anything with my hands.

I sat right down and wrote a letter to Donald Trump in which I said, “Dear Mr. Trump, try coating yourself with vegetable oil.  If you do, I am sure you will discover, as I have, that you can squeeze out of most anything.”

I though that I should try my hand at writing a poem.  So here we go:

“I have no trouble blowing my nose,
But I never could whistle through my toes.”

 

Unicorns And Blue Skies

Free illustrations of Unicorn

Alright, everybody — Here is a blog post about unicorns and blue skies.

My friend and fellow blogger has advised me that if I stop posting political stuff and start posting unicorns and blue skies I too can get 52 people to like it the same as some other bloggers get.

So here is my first unicorns and blue skies post.

So now show me anywhere from 52 to a hundred likes please.  I have done my part.

20/August/2022

7:23 AM, Eastern Standard Time, USA —– I have noticed recently that Google has started indexing “Liming’s Links. At present, Google has granted me 8 references on their index so that other people, searching for stuff on the Internet can find me. I am grateful for that. I thought Google was never going to start indexing me. It appears that their logarithms must think that I am producing their idea of “Quality” work right now ….. and that is alright with me, I can assure you of that!

At the same time, I have also noticed that my blog is being honored by visits from more countries from around the world. These most welcome visitors include: The United Kingdom, Trinidad, Tobago, Romania, Kenya, India and China. I do note also that my blog has been more popular lately from every other country except the United States. I have more visitors these days from the UK than from the US …. and that is fine with me. I welcome anyone who visits here with open and grateful arms.

Today’s changes to the blog …. and as anyone who knows me can testify, I am never satisfied with how the blog looks and I am always adjusting it ….Today’s changes to the blog are designed to reflect the appearance of the very first blog ever to appear on the Internet … and that would be “Justin’s Links.” I hope that everybody can read the blog now that I have changed it again and I hope that if anyone is having problems reading it, they will surely tell me.

I want to leave a note of assurance to all fellow bloggers who leave “Likes” on my blog posts. I want you to know that I never leave a “Like” on a blog post unless I have read the entire post, word for word. I do not skip read, I do not speed read. I read slowly and deliberately so that I can chew what is being written and so that I can mull over it, think about it, appreciate it. I just wanted to tell you all that because all of you produce what I consider to be outstanding stuff and I can tell you that if I did not mean every word of that, I would never have added your blog to my recommended reading list.